Kids
Yoga for Kids
By Kira Willey, kids' yoga teacher and creator of Fireflies Musical Yoga for Kids
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PAJAMA TIME OUT
Most nights I'm done with kid duties by 8 pm. My son and daughter are tucked in and read to, and my husband David and I can shift our attention to the fun stuff, like making a list for the handyman whose number I've lost and wondering what that awful smell is coming from the dishwasher. Not long ago, though, when she was two, our daughter Lola absolutely hated to go to sleep. She wanted no part of it: the tears started at the first mention of jammies, and it took hours most nights to get her down. I can't possibly count the number of dinners David and I ate separately, cold, as we took turns growing stiff from lying on the floor next to her crib, one hand reaching through the bars holding hers. We tried absolutely everything, except leaving her to cry and scream. We just couldn't do it.
Lola's sleep story is long and involved, and she sleeps fine now thanks to months occupational therapy for what turned out to be sensory integration dysfunction, a weighted blanket to help calm her but restless body, and the incredibly slow process of moving the chair in which I sat an inch closer to the hallway each night. suffice it to say I know how a kid's sleep issues from resisting to fall asleep, to night terrors, to waking up every two hours can mess with your life. One child not sleeping well over time can make two grownups nearly fall apart.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE (but you need your own routine)
With
a quick bit of research, I found that sleep experts estimate that 25-30
percent of children have problems sleeping. The article Snooze or Lose
in this week's issue of New York Magazine says that "Overstimulated,
overscheduled kids are getting at least an hour’s less sleep than they
need, a deficiency that, new research reveals, has the power to set
their cognitive abilities back years." Guess we weren't alone.
Since I'm a kids' yoga teacher, yoga has been part of our kids' lives from the start, and it was part of the sleep solution for us. Lola and David started doing some of her favorite poses; tree pose, downward facing dog, and butterfly pose on the floor in her room just before bed, and it made a BIG difference in the bedtime atmosphere. She loves to be the teacher, which gives her some control over a process where she felt like she had none. And like most kids, she thrives on routine, so establishing it as a ritual made it really work.
Many parents know that the less kids sleep, the less they sleep--the old downward spiral. I used to be continually amazed at how Lola could operate on eight hours of sleep a night at the age of two, and at how when nine o'clock would roll around it was like she was just getting started. I would lie next to her, annoyed and upset, as she fussed and fidgeted, and repeatedly ask her to hold her body still. I've learned a lot since then about the physiology of the overstimulated, overtired child (all too common in today's screen-intensive, heavily-scheduled environment). Some kids' bodies will not naturally slow down when they're tired; in fact their bodies shift into adrenalin mode, which winds them up as if they're on speed. They need help chilling out. Yoga sends their little bodies the BIG message that it's time to slow down.
A CHILD-CENTERED SLEEP-INDUCING YOGA ROUTINE
Calm yourself down. Something else I know now is how strongly my state of mind affected my daughter's. I was full of anxiety (when was this going to end?) and resentment (after she finally goes to sleep two hours from now, I still have to do the dishes and the laundry!) which I'm sure only made the situation worse: it's like hollering at your kids to quiet down (and yes I have done this).
Tip: Sleep can be a huge unknown. Some anxiety actually stems from letting go.
1. Get calm mom (and dad)
Sit in a seated forward bend for one minute. If that's not comfortable, sit cross-legged on the floor or sit on the side of the bed. Take 5 calming breaths.
Tip: You want the best for your child--have the patience, this will not last forever.
2. Create a bed ritual you both look forward to. Let your child be the
guide. If she has some say in it, she's more likely to go along with
it. Keep the Kids' Yoga Deck
in their room and allow them to pick the night’s features poses. To get
the ya-‘as out if they are very wound up, try some vocal animal poses
first: frog jumps with plenty of ribbits or lion pose with a big roar.
(Then we do Lola’s favorites: downward facing dog, tree and turtle
pose.) End sitting cross-legged facing each other, with three slow,
quiet oms.
I can't imagine a sweeter or more calming sound than her little voice
om-ing with mine.
Tip: After we touch our fingertips together and thank each other for sharing yoga she can hold still for the bedtime story and her body is ready for sleep.
3. Blow it all away.
After a story "Blow it Away." This is a cleansing exhalation that rids
the body of anxiety. Talk about the scary or bad thoughts plaguing the
child then visualize gathering them up, roll them up into a ball, take
a big inhale and exhale to blow them away.
Tip: I let Lola decide how many times we need to do it to make sure they're really gone. Then we come up with a happy replacement for her to think about like an upcoming trip to see her cousins or a big event at school the next day.
Use Yoga Every Day
1. Trust your gut. It told me what my child needed. Many people advised us to let her cry, we were told she needed "sleep training," and our pediatrician wordlessly handed me the book "The Difficult Child." We gave love and support and that was right for us.
2. And as in yoga practice, don't look around. Forget that your sister's kids happily sleep 13 uninterrupted hours a night, or the warnings that bringing an older child into bed with invites years of therapy.
Tip: Not worrying about where others are, looking within for the answer, and trusting yourself will help, and these things are at the heart of yoga.
RESOURCES:
The Inside Out Sleep Game (CD) by Patti Teel
Kids Yoga Deck (50-card deck) by Annie Buckley
Yoga Pretzels (50-card deck) by Tara Guber, Leah Kalish, and Sophie Fatus
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