Sanity Now

By Kristen Dollard

Three quick tricks to get there faster

Life's great, you're calm and composed, then—Ka-Pow!—a manipulative mother-in-law, well-meaning friend, or intimidating mechanic with a three-day beard and tattoo send it all crashing down by pushing an easy-to-reach button. In this installment of “Zen Mind Tricks,” Nancy Elkes, a yoga teacher at Practice Yoga in New York City, shows us how to use the power of self-control to calm down and get what we want without flying off the handle.

Your mechanic is stalling
Yoga is not always for softies. Elkes has a tough-love yoga policy: “Be present or leave.” She applies it to yoga students who do things like chew gum and distract the class. And in very rare cases (two to be exact), she asked a student to leave. So how does this tough yogi recommend confronting a mechanic who won’t have your car ready until he gets around to it?

Start with an affirmation. “I like the work you do and I want to send my friends to you.” Then, Elkes says, state your case and the possible outcome clearly. “If you cannot finish the job this week, you are forcing me to find someone else who will.”

If confrontation is stressful for you, Elkes says you can bolster your confidence in yoga class. “In my class, I say ‘I know you have more strength than that. I should see you suffer before you put your hands down,’” she says. Yoga teaches you that you cannot terminate a relationship or a pose when the going gets rough. “You need to express your needs. If that’s hard for you, prepare 10 minutes before you get to the mechanic’s shop and collect yourself,” Elkes says. “Breathe deeply.” Simply say on the inhale, ‘I am breathing in,’ and on the exhale, ‘I am breathing out.’”

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